I watched a house almost burn to the ground tonight. I felt the heat of the flames pouring out of the windows. I watched the people sobbing and holding each other— their everything being burned to nothingness in front of them.
Life is so fucking precious. I’m realizing more and more that I have to really appreciate life and open my eyes to the possibility of losing this beautiful gift I’ve been given. I sit here and I think of the ways I could improve my quality of living and you know what?
This post could be my last- why not write everything I feel and be thankful?
That hug could be the last- why not squeeze extra tight?
That song could be the last- why not scream every word?
That kiss could be the last- why not hold on a little longer?
That smile could be the last- why not do it till it hurts?
I’m practically in shock. I don’t really know what else to say right now, I feel sick to my stomach. I hope I can be given the chance to purely enjoy my life before I leave this amazing place.
I have this horrible feeling in my chest and it wont go away.
I’m lonely and sad.
But I don’t think that’s all of it.. I feel like a failure, pathetic and stupid. I feel unworthy; worthless even. I need to step my fucking game up,
but I don’t know how.
Creature Fear by Bon Iver is playing to ease my pain. If you don’t know this amazing song, you should look it the fuck up right now. Or simply go to www.daytrotter.com and download Bon Iver’s session— you’ll find many wonderful treats there for free.